MERE COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT! (AND AN UPDATE)

Update: We have a tropical storm coming. I'm as prepared as I can be: I have my emergency weather radio, plenty of batteries and candles, non-perishable food, water, and I already set up my pumps in the backyard because my problem is most likely to be plenty of water in Lake Junebug. For now, the sun is shining and it's 90-something.

I'm not worried.

In fact, Alexa told me we had a tropical storm warning ending at 9 a.m. Aug. 29th. That time has passed, Alexa. Pull your head out, girl!

Don't you think he practiced this look to get it exactly right for the camera?  Look tough, pretty boy.

But let's include some dumbfuckery, too.

THANK YOU, BABS RAINBOW

 

THE TUCKS MAN a.k.a. oh how the mighty have fallen

Update: When I first published this post, it had the wrong version of the video I created. Sorry about that error. I hope I have it straightened out now. 

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

As you can imagine, I, along with everyone else in the US, have been very worried about Tucker Carlson since he was fired from Fox News. I was relieved when I found out he had another job, but apparently that hasn't been going too well.

Views for "Tucker Carlson on Twitter" posts (assume the number of people who actually viewed the videos is much much lower).

Announcement: 137.1M
Ep. 1: 120M
Ep. 2: 60.6M
Ep. 3 (Trump indicted): 104.1M
Ep. 4: 32.4M
Ep. 5: 17.3M
Ep. 6: 32M
Ep. 7: 15.4M
Ep. 8: 8.6M

😬😬😬 pic.twitter.com/qd9Ox2WiFx

— Matthew Gertz (@MattGertz) July 7, 2023

So I think the first thing Tucker needs to do is change his name to a catchy nickname. I suggest "The Tucks Man." Yes, I know Tucks is the name of a treatment for hemorrhoids, but no one will remember that.

I suppose one or two party poopers will think it's funny to say that The Tucks Man is the hemorrhoid on the ass of America

but we, his loyal fans, know that isn't true.

Now that we have a great nickname for Tucker, we have to come up with a new job for him and I have some suggestions.

I know you all join me in wishing Tucks well. Do you have any advice for Tucker, job related or otherwise? I'm sure he'll do a great job of covering the news about our true president's indictments.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug