BREAK BROKE BROKEN PEOPLE AND A DISHWASHER

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

This week isn't going well.

1. I learned that Middle Child is ill. Even if you don't have children, you probably understand that when your child is sick, you would gladly take on the illness yourself and send your child off to dance in the moonlight.

Willy Dunne Wooters is worried about you.

2. A couple of days ago, I sat down on the glider on my deck and got this horrible, sharp pain in my lower back. I howled so loud I don't understand why the entire neighborhood didn't call the police to say, A WOMAN IS BEING MURDERED!

I did a little yard work, but nothing heavy duty enough for the pain I experienced. My back still hurts, but it's better.

The truth is that I'm not supposed to do all sorts of stuff because I broke my back in 2009, but if I obeyed the orthopedist's rules, then we'd never have milk or dog food in the house again because somebody has to carry that stuff in and that somebody is me.

I must give Willy Dunne Wooters some credit: The day that I hurt my back, after he left work he brought me medicine and milk and food that I can just heat up. He also sat on the deck for a while with Franklin, who was freaked out because Mommy made scary noises.

3. THIS IS THE ONE THAT PUT ME OVER THE EDGE: THE DISHWASHER IS BROKEN AGAIN.

Remember last year when the Frigidaire's pump broke, so Carol and I went to Lowe's and I bought a Bosch because they're supposed to be so great?

This cat is not mine--as far as I know.
I don't think I have a cat.

Several weeks ago, I opened the Bosch after it was supposed to have washed the dishes. The bottom of it was full of water. Lowe's sent a guy out. The pump had a tiny broken piece. He ordered a new tiny piece. It arrived. He came back and put in the new tiny piece. It was covered by the extended warranty I'd had the good sense to buy.

I ran the dishwasher after it was fixed. It worked okay. Not great. I ran it again earlier this week. It worked about the best it ever has. Dishes clean and reasonably dry.

• I ran the bastard last night. 
• I got up this morning.
• I opened the dishwasher.
• It hadn't drained.
• The bottom was full of water.
• It couldn't have gotten very far into its cycle because the Finish tablet was still in its holder.
• I called the Lowe's repair service. 
• A guy named Christian--ironic if you ask me--said the repair people were very busy and couldn't come out till May 11th.
• He asked, Can I help you with anything else?
• I said, YES! YOU CAN GET ME SOME PAIN MEDICATION AND PLANT MY BLUE SPRUCE SEEDLING BECAUSE MY BACK IS HURT AND I CAN'T DO IT AND YOU CAN PAINT MY BATHROOM AND YOU CAN WASH THE DISHES THAT DIDN'T GET WASHED IN THE DISHWASHER AND CLEAN UP THE POOL OF WATER IN THE BOTTOM OF THE DISHWASHER.
• He said, Is there anything I can actually help you with?
• No, said I, though I should have said, Stop ending your sentences with prepositions or I will turn into Betty Draper shooting Christians instead of pigeons (see yesterday's blog post).
• I cried. I called The Hurricane and cried. I called Favorite Young Man and cried. We came up with a plan.
• I called the local repair people myself because they are very nice. I told them that Lowe's said they couldn't come till the 11th, and I had hurt my back. I cried while I talked.
• The nice lady said they would come on the 4th. She will call me back with a time. 
• I stopped crying, but I am not in a happy mood.

Infinities of love in spite of it all,

Janie Junebug

FAVORITE MAD MEN SHOT

Yes, the title is a pun.

My favorite shot from Mad Men has always been Betty Draper with a gun and a cigarette in her mouth, shooting her neighbor's pigeons. I don't remember what season it was, but it was pretty early on.

Oh, and she was wearing a nice nightie.

Ya don't mess around with Bets, formerly nicknamed Birdie by her first husband.

BRANDON ALERTS US TO AN ERROR

Eleanor . . . and Franklin,

Our dear friend and client Brandon Ax has alerted us to an error made with dowloads of his first two books:

http://baxwriting.blogspot.com/2015/04/well-this-sucks.html

Recently, people who ordered the Kindle edition of Elemental, his first book, instead received Ashes.

Elemental is now available on Amazon for updating, in case you purchased it and received Ashes instead. Poor Brandon doesn't know what went wrong, and is having difficulty getting answers from the mighty Amazon.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

the mourning

the mourning begins the same as any other day
i don't want to get out of bed
but finally i do

i brush my teeth
i wash my face
i sit down to pee because im not a man

i drink my daily dose of chocolate milk
i should take a shower
but i wont

its too much
its all too much
every time one dies

i know the dogs wait for me in heaven
but i cant join them yet
i have to stay

and so
every single day
begins with the mourning

WICKET HAS PARVOVIRUS

Emma . . . and Mr. Knightley,

This is Wicket:

Isn't he a beauty?

His family found him wandering the streets, all alone and in need of care. He's very young.

Before he could get his shots, he came down with Parvovirus––a very serious condition.

I thought it couldn't hurt to mention that a GoFundMe campaign has been set up to take care of little Wicket's medical expenses. I donated. I'm not asking you to do so. I'm merely mentioning that poor little Wicket is in need.

Check out the GoFundMe campaign to help Wicket beat the Parvovirus.

You can read more about Wicket and see him with his dad at http://goo.gl/1UQwv8.


Infinities of love to Wicket and the good people who have taken him in,

Janie Junebug

CAROL'S DAVID PUT TOGETHER MY HAMMOCK

Lovers . . . and Other Strangers,

Today my buddy Carol's David, as opposed to someone else's David, came over to put together my hammock and help me with some other stuff because he's good at those things and I'm not and I pay him money.

After he finished the hammock, I insisted that he test it. He begged me to run in the house to grab my teddy bear and camera and take the following photos of him, which I already posted on Facebook:

I am now a little bit afraid that Carol's David will never help me out again. (He is Carol's David because he is her son. I hope that eliminates any confusion.)

So, anydavid, if you live in or around Jacksonville, Florida (during the winter), or in or around Milwaukee, Wisconsin (during the summer), and you need a superior carpenter and all around great guy who even took me to the post office to send a box to The Hurricane that was too heavy for me to carry, let me know. I'll help you get in touch with him so you can hire him.

Man, his foot looks gigantic in that second photo.

I thank you for your kind attention to THIS POST about Brandon Ax's books. His sale on the first two books in the Light Bringer saga runs through tomorrow, which is Tuesday, April 21st.

Brandon says:

In celebration of the cover and the new book, I am doing a sale for both Elemental and Ashes. The sale starts today April 17 and ends Tuesday, April 21. I hope any who has not had a chance to read any of the books in the Light Bringer Saga, can catch up before book three. 

I'm quite proud to be Brandon's editor. It makes me happy when you buy his books. His plots are so interesting that I can't help smiling while I edit his books, except when the story gets a little scary and then I use my anxious face.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

P.S. I miss you all. I am hard at work and hope to return to you on a regular basis some time during May.

ELEMENTAL SERIES & BRANDON AX

Gentle Readers . . . and Ruffians,

My beloved young author Brandon Ax has a cover reveal for you. He hopes the book will be out during May. I am proud to be his editor. I love it when Brandon and his cute little dragon deliver manuscripts to me. The dragon, whose name I can't remember, never burns me. 

Here's the new book:

Brandon also currently offers sale prices on his first two books so you can get caught up in the world of the Light Bringer Saga.

Brandon says:

In celebration of the cover and the new book, I am doing a sale for both Elemental and Ashes. The sale starts today April 17 and ends Tuesday, April 21. I hope any who has not had a chance to read any of the books in the Light Bringer Saga, can catch up before book three. 

As for the Junebug, I am not big on fantasy/science fiction, etc., but I enjoy Brandon's books. His plots are excellent. I'm fond of his characters. They have become my friends.

Pass on the word, please, that Brandon will have a new book out soon, and his first two books are on sale.


Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

HE IS RISEN

He is risen indeed.