BOOK WEEKEND: GOING HOME TO GLORY

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I haven't watched any movies this week. I've been too busy reading and giving good lovin' to Elvis Aaron Schwarz.

Hi! Remember me?
I'm Elvis Aaron Schwarz.
Janie gave me lots of good lovin' and I gave her three books she's never read.

That Elvis Aaron Schwarz. He's a keeper.

I haven't started reading the books he gave me because I want to finish what I'm reading right now. For your reading pleasure, however, I'd like to suggest a book I read recently called Going Home To Glory. It's David Eisenhower's account of the end of his grandfather's (Dwight Eisenhower's) presidency, his grandfather's move to Gettysburg with wife Mamie, and eventually, his grandfather's death.

Julie Nixon Eisenhower co-authors.

I found David Eisenhower's memories of his grandfather quite sweet and endearing. I thinks it's especially poignant when the family arrives at a welcome ceremony in Gettysburg, and David recalls that he couldn't run to his grandfather:

My sisters and I had taken places among a crowd of grade school classmates. I had seen my grandfather many times on television, as he returned from trips overseas, or addressed Congress or the United Nations. I had seen documentaries about his role during World Was II, and I had ridden with him in the presidential limousine through parades and motorcades, but I had never watched him as part of a crowd. The connection between the man on a television screen and the man I knew had always been somewhat abstract. I had never comprehended the barriers between Granddad and others, or experienced them as others had. I realized that if I ran forward that night to the podium, a policeman would restrain me and that I would wreck the decorum of the ceremony. This tugged at me slightly. Yet looking around me, all the people I knew seemed to regard the sight of Granddad on the platform addressing the crowd, waving, being blinded by cameras, ringed by police, as perfectly natural. This, I thought, either set me part from my friends or set me apart from my grandfather. It occurred to me I had not fully appreciated that familiar and now suddenly distant bald, silhouetted figure being serenaded and honored by my friends.

David Eisenhower goes on to recount many interesting stories about "Granddad," who seems to have been a rather stern taskmaster, yet loving and generous grandfather. One year, Granddad even fired young David from his summer job at the Eisenhower home.

The Eisenhower home in Gettysburg is the only house Dwight and Mamie Eisenhower ever owned because of the many moves they made during the General's career with the Army. We visited the house one summer and found it very interesting. It's fun to read David Eisenhower's recollections of a place I've actually seen. I remember the sun porch, where it was said the Eisenhowers liked to watch TV. David recalls his granddad as a remote control hog.

David also points out that when his grandfather left the presidency, he regained the title of "General," which was for life, whereas "President" is only for the time in office. I wish David Eisenhower had more to say about his grandmother, Mamie. He mentions that she often spent the day in bed. I read an article some time ago that stated Mamie Eisenhower suffered from depression. Perhaps this is the reason David remembers his grandmother staying in bed. Anyway, I'm curious about the former First Lady, and I feel a bit sorry for her. Next up in the White House was the stylish and sophisticated Jackie Kennedy. Poor Mamie was then considered rather dowdy.

If you have any interest in history or these unique memories of a famous family's relationship, then I recommend you read Going Home to Glory: A Memoir of Life With Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1961 - 1969. You can purchase the book at amazon.com by clicking on the following link:

http://www.amazon.com/Going-Home-Glory-Eisenhower-1961-1969/dp/B007BWD0U2/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348870400&sr=1-1&keywords=going+home+to+glory+a+memoir+of+life+with+dwight+d.+eisenhower.+1961-1969

This book has The Janie Junebug Seal of Approval.

I'm sorry, but you have to go to amazon
to "Click to LOOK INSIDE." There you also can ask the Amazons
to send a copy to you, if you pay for it.

Visiting the Eisenhower's home in Gettysburg also has The Janie Junebug Seal of Approval. Touring the battlefield is fascinating and quite moving. Following the battlefield with a visit to the house is rather soothing after hours of imagining the horrors of battle. Besides, it's a beautiful house.

However, I do not recommend visiting The Eisenhower Presidential Museum in Abilene, Kansas, unless you are a huge Eisenhower fan or scholar. It is one of only two presidential museums that has bored me. The other is Herbert Hoover's. At least I can guarantee that if you visit these museums you aren't likely to contend with crowds of worshipful onlookers.

Happy Reading!

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

FABULOUS FISHDUCKY

Dear Friend fishducky,

Like Maggie, I knew I had made it when you started following me. And when I received the coveted fishducky approved button for my blog, I darn near thought I had died and gone to Heaven.

I appreciate your unending support, your friendliness, and your comments.

Sorry to be posting so late in the day. I spent last night with Elvis Aaron Schwarz, in your honor.

Hi! Remember me? I'm Elvis Aaron Schwarz.
I had a nice night with Janie, but it's fishducky I truly desire.

Darn that Elvis Aaron Schwarz! He would prefer you to me. Who doesn't?

Infinities of birthday love,

Janie

CRAZY DAISY AWARD

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Sweet adorable Sherry Ellis at Mama Diaries has seen fit to bestow an award on me. I haven't been accepting awards for a while, but I decided to take this one because it involves craziness.

Yes, this is the Crazy Daisy Award. Sherry said she didn't know if I'm crazy. Boy, does she have some learning to do.

Anyblog, I'm supposed to tell you seven weird things about me. This task shouldn't prove too difficult.

How am I weird? Let me count the ways:

1. I'm a Lutheran, but I don't like coffee. You kinda have to be a Lutheran to understand how weird this one is.

2. I used to make up songs to sing to my kids' poopy diapers. I also gave the poop names.

3. All of my dogs -- except one, Franklin -- have had names of authors or characters in books. I've been graced by the presence of Faulkner, Kesey, Thoreau, and Emma, and currently, Scout and Harper Lee.

4. Some of my closest friends are other bloggers; that is, you are people I've never met, and I love you all dearly. Elisa at http://ecwrites.blogspot.com/ (The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom) has become the middle child I never had. We even have an anniversary to celebrate her addition to my family.

5. I loved studying Chaucer and Milton and other writers most people think are boring in order to get my degree in English. I LOVE "The Scarlet Letter." Hawthorne based it on my life.

6. I have stated on this blog more than once that in real life I am Lorelai Gilmore, and I am. Yes, it's true. I am Lorelai Gilmore. And if I'm not Lorelai Gilmore, then I want to be Myrna K. Schnickleblitz-Schwarz.

7. I'm dating Elvis Aaron Schwarz. He says I'm sweet and sexy -- not weird. Thank you, Elvis Aaron Schwarz, you sweetie pie, you. (tee hee)

8. I have six fingers on my right hand and seven toes on my left hand. Boy, do people stare!

9. I have three nipples and they're all on my stomach.

10. I have a hairy chest.

Oh, what's that, Sherry? I was supposed to stop at seven? How quickly I forget.

Now, where was I? Oh, yes. I'm in my family room in my little house.

Well, now I guess you know the best and the worst weirdnesses about me.

If you'd like to tell me something weird about me, please feel free to do so. And if you want to tell the world seven weird things about yourself, then please, please, please steal the daisy.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

MURDER WHAT? MONDAY

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

In my post on Friday, I reviewed the frightening movie Heavenly Creatures. The plot for this movie is based on an infamous 1954 murder in New Zealand.

Two 15-year-old girls, who had developed an extremely intense relationship based on shared fantasies, feared they would be separated when Juliet Hulme's parents divorced and her family moved to England. Thinking if they eliminated Pauline Parker's mother from the equation that Pauline would be allowed to go along to England, the two murdered Pauline's mother. They were considered too young to be given the death penalty. They were sent to separate prisons. Each served five and a half years.

So what happened to the girls when they were released from prison? Juliet Hulme left New Zealand very quickly to live in England with her mother and step-father. Pauline Parker was on probation until 1965. When her probation ended, she, too, left the country.

When the movie Heavenly Creatures was released, a curious public -- and the media -- wanted to know where the women now lived, if they were still alive. And they are. Both changed their names. It was discovered that Pauline Parker lives in rural Scotland. She taught handicapped children for many years and now has a riding school. Juliet Hulme, who lives in a different part of Scotland, was also outed, which was a great surprise to those who read her books, for Juliet Hulme took the name Anne Perry and became a successful, award winning writer of crime novels.

Juliet Hulme

Anne Perry

So my question today is a little more complicated than usual: Do you think it's all right if someone who committed a murder makes a living writing murder mysteries? Would you buy a book by Anne Perry? 

I know it's been many, many years since two 15 year olds committed this crime, but I'm disturbed that Anne Perry makes a living -- and a very good living -- by writing about crimes.

Juliet Hulme may have changed her name to Anne Perry, but she's still a murderer. I would not buy a book by Anne Perry, and I don't say that merely because I don't read crime novels. Criminals should not benefit in any way from the crimes they've committed. Anne Perry has a personal relationship with the mind of a murderer.

How do you feel about this situation? Is it okay that Anne Perry writes about crime because she committed her crime so long ago? Is it all right as long as she doesn't use details from the crime she committed? Do you think it's all right if someone who committed a murder makes a living writing murder mysteries? Would you buy a book by Anne Perry?

I'm eager to know what you think.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

MOVIE MOVIE WEEKEND

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I haven't seen any movies that are new to DVD, but I watched two somewhat older movies that might interest you.

The first is called Heavenly Creatures (1994), but I'm afraid the creatures are not heavenly at all. Directed by Peter Jackson of later Hobbit fame, Heavenly Creatures is said to follow very closely the facts of a 1954 murder case in New Zealand.

Starring Melanie Lynskey as Pauline Parker and Kate Winslet as Juliet Hulme (both actresses made their film debuts in this movie), Heavenly Creatures leads us through events as  Parker and Hulme develop an intense, obsessive friendship as 15 year olds. When the girls learn they will be separated, they create a hideous scheme that they hope will allow them to stay together. Instead, they never see each other again.

Jackson brilliantly juxtaposes scenes of the laughing girls imagining their fantasy world, complete with unicorns, and accompanied by the happy songs of the girls' hero Mario Lanza, with Parker's actual diary entries as she happily plans a murder.

As a well-made film, I give Heavenly Creatures The Janie Junebug Seal of Approval, but the seal comes with another seal -- The Janie Junebug Watch Out Because This Movie Scared Me Half to Death Seal. I had a hideous nightmare after watching this movie. It's definitely not for the faint of heart. If you can watch it and simply appreciate it as a well-made movie, then good for you. I couldn't do that. I don't ever want to see this movie again because I don't like nightmares.

Second on our plate today is Tortilla Soup, a delightful romantic comedy that shouldn't frighten anyone. From 2001, Tortilla Soup stars Hector Elizondo as a Mexican-American chef named Martin who has raised three daughters on his own following the death of his wife.

Martin has retired, but he continues to prepare traditional feasts for his adult daughters, all of whom continue to live at home with Papa. I must say the food in this movie is gorgeous. It's practically, no, it IS a character in its own right.

Although Martin has difficulty dealing with the changes in his daughters during the course of the movie, he does not lose his zest for life. Thus, we have a happy ending, which is exactly what I like. No nightmares with this movie. It has The (wholehearted) Janie Junebug Seal of Approval.

Tortilla Soup is the kind of movie that helps you forget your troubles, and that's exactly what I wish for you -- a trouble-free weekend with plenty of time to relax.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

HERE IN DOGTOWN

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Here in Dogtown, life continues to move along pretty happily.

Elvis Aaron Schwarz called me this evening. He knew I felt lonely.

Hi! Remember me?
I'm Elvis Aaron Schwarz.
When Janie feels lonely, I come to her rescue.

Elvis Aaron Schwarz invited me to visit him next week.  I don't know what he has in mind for our time together, but I'll keep you informed.

Or not.

Earlier in the week, I promised I would let you know what I've been up to here in Dogtown that's kept me too busy to post regularly.

And it's good news: I've had a part in the editing process for three books. Editing is the perfect job for the Queen of Grammar. The only thing that makes me happier than correcting punctuation is seeing Elvis Aaron Schwarz.

The first book I edited has been published and is available for you to purchase. It's the third in Melynda's series of "Nonsense" books. Each book consists of some of the best posts from Melynda's blog at Crazy World.

The newest book is called True Nonsense, and the very first story in the book is my all-time favorite of Melynda's posts. It's a story within a story when little Mr. P lets loose with "Three Little Piggy Hoe-ers" and it's hilarious. Of course, young Mr. P had no idea that "hoe-ers" and another word that sounds very similar might get some people confused and others amused.

"Once upon a time," he began in a sweet little five-year-old's voice, "There were three little piggy hoe-ers." At this point, I spewed soda out my nose, Phil about burned his hand off and both of the other kids stared transfixed at their youngest sibling. Trying to catch their attention to warn them to let it slide was just about impossible. The story continued and progressively made me pray none of the neighbors were in their back yards listening.

True Nonsense is available at amazon in a kindle edition or in paperback. If you choose paperback, you get Melynda's crazy sense of humor and my punctuation for the low, low price of $8.88.  You also get a great cover photo of Melynda trying to run down Elisa with a lawn mower. The kindle edition of the book costs even less than the paperback, but I'm not a kindle girl. I like books I can hold in my hands.

Melynda calls me "the punc princesss." I love it.

When the other books I've helped to edit are published, I'll let you know about them, too. I hope more editing comes my way. Of course, I'm sure Nicki Elson will want my help with Four Elvises.

I, however, require only one Elvis for my viewing pleasure.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

THREE DAVES

NICKI ELSON! NICKI ELSON! NICKI ELSON! and Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Nicki Elson, who is much loved in this house -- as you may have guessed from my salutation -- blogs at Nicki Elson's Not So-Deep Thoughts. She's also the author of a great novel called Three Daves.

With Three Daves, Nicki exposes her readers to college life in Illinois during the mid 80s, by introducing them to the star of Nicki's show, Jen, who comes of age very much aware of popular music and other bits and pieces of information that are interesting whether you were young during the 80s or not. Jen is also painfully aware of all the sexual activity going on around her, and the fact that she's not participating. Her vision of growing up includes sex, yet she wants to wait for the right man:

Jennifer Whitney was the last American virgin. At least that's what she felt like in 1986 as she began her sophomore year at Central Illinois University. She was proud of her decision to wait for the right guy, and yet she was getting restless. It seemed like everyone around her was doing the nasty and having fun doing it. How long was she going to have to wait? Perhaps it was time to stop relying on fate to guide her, and instead take matters into her own hands. She didn't want to become a campus slut or anything but surely there was a difference between a trashy skank and a nice girl with a little experience.

As Jen completes college, she dates David, Dave, and Big D -- but not all at the same time. Three Daves is very humorous and Nicki's writing is polished and intelligent. I love the way she concludes each chapter with a Bible verse. And now I finally understand what Nicki's blog readers are referring to when they mention certain pages in Three Daves. This book has some delightfully naughty PG-13 sections.

Jen's experiences are especially fun for me and quite a revelation because I missed the 80s. Favorite Young Man was born in 1980, and The Hurricane arrived in 1986. Those of you who have children will understand what I mean when I say that decade is foggy in my memory.

The one 80s cultural experience that I'll admit to having is big hair. Oh, yeah. It poofed out and up. My hair is under control now, and Nicki's fine writing is under control. I hope she'll grace us with a second novel soon.

You can purchase Three Daves at amazon and you can get to the right spot by clicking on the link I've provided, or you can visit Nicki's blog and click on the Three Daves book cover, or when you're browsing at amazon, simply enter the title and gorgeous amazons will find the book for you. They'll even sell it to you and ship it.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

ELVIS

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Today I want to provide an update on Elvis.

I AM THE WRONG ELVIS.

No, not that Elvis. We're talking Elvis Aaron Schwarz here. He's having a tough time.

Hi! Remember me? I'm Elvis Aaron Schwarz.
I'm having a tough time. In spite of my good looks and important family,
I must work to support myself and to take Janie on dates. I can't take
Janie on dates for now, and we miss each other. I call Janie my baby doll, which she loves.

Elvis Aaron Schwarz and I haven't had our second date yet because he has been quite ill, perhaps with the same kind of yucky bronchitis my boyfriend Coffey has had. As Elvis Aaron Schwarz put it,

I get up sick, I go to work sick, I come home sick, and I go to bed sick. 

Poor Elvis Aaron Schwarz. And he doesn't even have me to take care of him and nurse him back to health.

And to put the icing on Elvis Aaron Schwarz's cake of soap, he and most of the other employees who work for a nearby city have been cut back to 32 hours, making them part-time employees. Thus, they lose their benefits. They can't work overtime. They don't have health insurance. They don't have a retirement fund.

Poor Elvis Aaron Schwarz. In addition to being sick, he is now busy job hunting. He hopes to stay near my city and he assured me that he has not changed his mind about me.

Poor Elvis Aaron Schwarz. At least he still has a part-time job -- for now. Elvis Aaron Schwarz thinks the city for which he works will declare bankruptcy soon.

On another front, The Hurricane says the semester is kicking her butt. She has an extra administrative chore at work because of cutbacks in staffing. The university doesn't have enough people to run its departments. 

Poor Hurricane.

Poor Elvis Aaron Schwarz.

Poor me, missing The Hurricane and Elvis Aaron Schwarz. 

I must be strong.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

TEACHER WHO? MONDAY

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I came up with today's question because I read the lovely Alex's blog, called The Life And Times of A. Nightber. I encourage you to check out Alex's writing, and please leave comments for her. She deserves more attention. Alex is very interesting and funny and she has a lot to say about teaching, which leads us to our question for today:

Who was the best teacher you ever had? 

I've mentioned this man before -- my mentor, Dr. C at S******* University. He was the icing on the cake of my education. I took every class he taught, except English 101, which I had already had when I entered S.U. Dr. C guided me through American literature, with a special focus on poetry, and he made Shakespeare and Milton understandable. To be able to say I love Milton -- the king of constipated looking faces -- is indeed a tribute to Dr. C.

Dr. C taught his students how to undertake a close textual analysis of a work of literature. This ability to analyze boosted my career as a reporter. I didn't really need journalism classes because I had Dr. C. The method of writing he taught prepared me for anything.

He also chose me as a grader for his English 101 students. I had this job for four semesters. It taught me to pick out errors in students' papers, and thus prepared me to work as an editor.

However, he also taught me the importance of boosting a writer's self-esteem by giving compliments as soon as someone did something right. My job was not merely to criticize. It was my job to bring out the best in students, and I like to think I apply the same cheerleader quality to my current work in editing.

Dr. C's mentoring has been one of the most important parts of my life. The man was almost always very serious in class, but he had a great sense of humor. And he loved it when I gossiped a bit about the head of the department and told him what a lousy teacher she was. He would have me close his office door so we could chat. If I were to see him again after all these years, I know he would be so proud of the career I've enjoyed.
Now, how about you: Who was the best teacher you ever had? I can't wait to read your answers.

I apologize for going AWOL for so long. I'll try to write a post this week that explains what I'm up to.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

MOVIE WHAT? MONDAY

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

A movie is going to be made about your life. Who should play you as an adult?

As many of you already know, in real life I am Lorelai Gilmore. Therefore, you may think that the actress who portrayed me on television should be me in the movie.

But Lauren Graham is busy with her new TV series, Parenthood. She doesn't have time to play me in The Story of Janie Junebug: A Dumped First Wife Who Became Incredibly Cool Following Her Divorce.

So, who should play me? She needs to be an actress who can convey my sensuality, intelligence, and love of good grammar.

I think I have the answer.

Christina Hendricks, who plays Joan on Mad Men. She has the smile, the hair that's the same color as Favorite Young Man's and The Hurricane's, and she definitely has the boobs.

Oh, yeah, She has the boobs.

Christina Hendricks is my choice to play me.

Now, what about you? Who should play you as an adult?

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

MOVIE WEEKEND

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Today I offer for your consideration the winner in the Best Foreign Language Film Category at the 2012 Academy Awards, A Separation.

A Separation is the first film from Iran to win an Academy Award. It is also the first to be nominated for Best Original Screenplay, an award that went to the excellent Midnight In Paris.

If you can't stand reading subtitles, then A Separation is not the movie for you. However, I was enthralled by the plot and the outstanding acting as a married couple heads toward divorce because the wife wants to go to America to make a better life for their daughter, while the husband feels he should stay in Iran to take care of his father, who has Alzheimer's Disease.

Hiring a caretaker for the elderly man only makes the situation worse.

A Separation has the Highest Janie Junebug Seal of Approval. I absolutely love this movie.

Dee, I doubt if this new-to-DVD film will be in your library -- at least not for a while. Perhaps you can add it to your list of Must See movies because I think you will be impressed by it.

For those of you who still have high temps and humidity, as I do, then stay in and watch a good movie. If your weather is cooling off, then please don't tell me. I don't want to hear about a high of 80 when I'm sweltering.

It's not the heat or the humidity alone. It's both. 

We expect a 100% reality of miserable weather for at least two more months. I just keep telling myself that I shall never again shovel snow.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

THIS WEEK AT MY HOUSE

Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Is it Thursday already? The weeks go by so quickly when one is older than dirt.

Franklin goes to the groomer tomorrow. That will complete all the visits to the groomer for a while.

Franklin (dressed in black and white) telling Harper
that going to the groomer is ridiculous and he hates
getting up on that table and his fur is not dirty and he does not smell like a dog (not that there's anything wrong with that).

I even went to the groomer on Tuesday. Sam permed my hair and cut it. My pink and blue hair is still visible, although the colors have faded a bit. Oh, she waxed my eyebrows, too. I don't have anything else waxed. The thought of my woo-hoo visiting Brazil terrifies me.

Wednesday evening I was talking to Elvis Aaron Schwarz on the telephone, and I said, Elvis Aaron Schwarz, editing at home is the best job in the world. I sit in a comfortable chair with my feet up so they don't get swollen. I can work wearing my nightie with no panties underneath if I so choose. I don't have to put up with office politics. Yes, Elvis Aaron Schwarz, I said, this is the greatest job ever.

You wear a nightie and no panties? asked Elvis Aaron Schwarz. I wanna make love to you (he kinda has a one-track mind).

Actually, Elvis Aaron Schwarz told me he had to take someone very important to the hospital today for emergency surgery. He might not be available for dinner on Saturday night. It will depend on how this important person feels. I admire Elvis Aaron Schwarz for his devotion, and I will understand if he can't make it on Saturday night.

There will be other Saturday nights, but this important person may need Elvis Aaron Schwarz for the next few days and he's the kind of person who doesn't run out on his responsibilities.

Harper also has a sense of responsibility. At about 3 a.m. on Wednesday, Harper went outside and I could see he was trying to pounce on something in the front corner of the garage. He missed whatever it was and stayed at that corner for about an hour, holding a vigil. I went outside with some trepidation today, thinking I might find a dead rat, but nothing was there. May it stay that way.

People quite often ask me how I keep my skin so soft. Well, Elvis Aaron Schwarz says I have soft skin and smell good. I have to take very good care of my sensitive skin, and I do so using body butter and cream cleansers and other nice products from The Body Shop. I order from them online. Jax has a  Body Shop, but it's pretty far from my house.

Anyskin, The Body Shop had a great online Labor Day sale. I stocked up on hemp hand protectant, stuff to cleanse me in the shower, body butter to make Elvis Aaron Schwarz say I'm soft and smell good -- all that nice stuff that I need for my rashy, itchy, fiery skin.

I placed my order and then noticed that instead of having the order shipped to the billing address, I had accidentally left The Hurricane's house as the Ship To address because the last time I ordered from The Body Shop it was to send a gift to her. 

Gracious God! I cried. Please save me. If this order shows up at The Hurricane's house and she has to send it to me, she may attack Florida and thousands will die. I called The Body Shop immediately and couldn't get a human being on the phone.

So I called the next day and after waiting for about a year, a person deigned to speak with me. She said it was too late to change the shipping address (even though the status of the order said it was being processed and hadn't actually been sent). The Body Shop lady promised me that as soon as the package had a tracking number, she would call the shipping people and tell them to change the address on the package to mine. She was very polite, but haven't you noticed that if you order something online and you make a mistake it's darn near impossible to fix it?

I called The Hurricane and left a message stating that I was afraid she was going to be very angry with me and would she please call me and have mercy on me.

She called and was actually quite reassuring. She said that if the package ends up at her house, she'll find a way to get it to me.

I suggested she could give it to me for Christmas. That way I'll get exactly what I want.

So what if I pay for it myself? It's better than having The Hurricane attack an entire region.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

UPDATE

Dear Hearts and Gentle People,

Many thanks to those of you who participated in the Labor Day Blogfest and Book Fair in honor of our pal Melynda at Crazy World. I don't know the final total that will be donated to The American Diabetes Association, but I know books sold well and many of the free e-books went to the #1 spot in their respective categories on Amazon.com.

I continue to tap tap away on the computer (if I were Shirley Temple I could tap fast enough to dance with Mr. Bojangles), editing and writing. I'm trying to visit your blogs more often. I miss you too much when I don't take the time to read what you're up to.

It looks as if Date #2 with Elvis Aaron Schwarz is on for this Saturday night.

Remember me?
I'm Elvis Aaron Schwarz.

I'm going to cook dinner for Elvis. We're having grilled chicken, broccoli, and each other whole-grain apple cinnamon muffins that will serve as part of the dinner and be dessert when we're not eating each other. Oh, my God, that is so filthy. It is all Lola's fault. You know how she takes over sometimes. 

Elvis and I are on high protein diets, and we've agreed to encourage one another in our weight loss goals. 

And didn't Suz post something recently about semen being a natural anti-depressant?

Not that I have any interest in such a substance.

However, I do feel a wee bit depressed. The heat gets to me. I know some of you live in parts of the country where it's cooling off, whereas it will probably stay quite hot here in the land of orange juice until the end of October. Then it will be very warm until Christmas. After that, we might have a few chilly days, or at least the natives will think it's chilly.

I can't help laughing when I see people bundled up in winter coats, hats, and gloves -- all because the temperature has dropped to 60 degrees. No snow shoveling for me, and no coat required.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug, with entirely too much help from Lola