Monday, June 27, 2016

REVISED PROLOGUE & FIRST GRAPH OF CH. ONE FOR WHICH WAY HOME

Prologue

You've heard people say their lives changed overnight, right? They woke up and heard the lottery numbers and they were millionaires. More often, the change is bad because one day everything is fine, and the next? It is all fucked up. 

I read once that Marie Antoinette's hair turned white overnight while she was in jail, waiting to lose her head. 

I bet that hair went white during the few seconds of a nightmare as she saw the guillotine's blade slice through her own milky neck.

What people don't think about is that the overnight device is a saying. Nothing but a cliché. It hardly ever takes that long: eight hours, twelve hours, or however you define overnight––for life to change so completely. Most of the time it happens in one or two seconds.

How many seconds does it take to purchase that lottery ticket or to decide to stop someplace to eat ice cream? These decisions may be part of a change that's a long time in the making, but when the hair whitening attacks, it happens in a flash. 

And the flash can be so bright it nearly blinds you. 

Chapter One

Clue

The yellow piece of paper on the windshield of Aggie's black minivan stood out like a beacon in the dusky evening light as she left the urgent care center. She waddled along with a purse and diaper bag slung behind her right shoulder, Ruth Ann perched on her right hip, and a still sobbing Elliot holding on for dear life to her left hand.

22 comments:

  1. Most of the time it happens in one or two seconds...

    Ain't that the truth, Janie.

    P.S. I wasn't kidding: CLICK!

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  2. Yup, life changing moments can happen in seconds. A car accident, a stroke, heart attack, or being told you have cancer. Suddenly things you thought were important seem trivial.

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    Replies
    1. My point exactly. Aggie's life will . . . can't tell you.

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  3. May I make a suggestion? If I were writing this, I would say "struggled forward" instead of "waddled along" because it leaves a less comedic first impression of your protagonist.

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    Replies
    1. You're always welcome to make suggestions. I might want the comic relief, but I understand your point.

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  4. Still my favorite!!!! Oh and what Anne said!!!!

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  5. Keep posting, lady!! :) :) :)

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  6. Replies
    1. Hook, line, and stinker. It's been stinky around here because Penelope has an upset tummy.

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  7. I want the rest of the story, please!!

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  8. Oh Janie, what happens next ?
    This paragraph grabbed my attention and I want to know more.

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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    Replies
    1. We'll have to see if Aggie reveals what's on the piece of yellow paper. She has to get the kids in the car, too. It's always something.

      Delete

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