Sunday, January 20, 2013

LAUGHING WITH VIVIE

Now that I have you interested in Vivie (read Part One of The Birth of a Bedsore HERE and read Part Two HERE), I'm going to make you crazy and not tell you the rest of the story.

If I tell you everything, then why should you buy the book when it's finished?

I feel as if I have a good start on the story of Vivie and I'll be able to tell the rest of her story in the book.

However, I'll give you a little side story about Vivie, and maybe you won't be quite as irritated with me for making you wait for the book.

The nursing home didn't have a regular band of volunteers. Occasionally a church group would come in for a hymn sing, or a local musical group might sing or play instruments. The local "Fuzzy Buddies" volunteers visited with therapy dogs and placid cats willing to be hugged. A different pastor from the area conducted a church service once a month. The residents adored these visits. Although they loved many of the workers they saw everyday, new faces were special and fun.

I think the entertainment the residents enjoyed the most, however, was the time some of our nursing home chain's employees from another city came to our little corner of the retirement world to put on a show they performed regularly at nursing homes. They dressed as country music singers and lip-synched to popular records. Our patients clapped in time to the music, if they could, and we saw many smiles that day.

The woman who portrayed Dolly Parton had on plenty of make-up, a big blonde wig, and a large chest. Her ta-tas were more bodacious than mine!

After the entertainment, the performers walked around, talking to the residents and joking with them.

Vivie pointed to "Dolly Parton's" boobs. "Th-those are r-really something," she giggled.

Dolly reached in her blouse and took out two balloons, which she presented to Vivie, who put them in the front of her housecoat. As Bernadette, one of the staff members from activities, and I wheeled Vivie back to her room, Vivie laughed and stuck out her chest and made the most of what she suddenly had.

When we arrived at Vivie's room, Bobby had just put Vivie's pitcher of fresh water on her bedside table. Bobby was a senior in high school who worked part time as a hospitality aide. He was a nice kid who was always pleasant and even tempered. He also happened to be pretty darn cute.

As he left the room and we walked in, his eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw the chest of Vivie's housecoat.

After he was gone, Vivie unsnapped the top of her housecoat and called out, "Oh, Baaaaaahhhhhby! Bobby, why don't you come back for another look?"

Vivie wiggled and simpered as Bernadette and I giggled.

Fortunately, Bobby did not return. I don't think he would have known what to do if he had!


16 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. No, goofy duck. I have to write the whole thing first and then Elisa will say when you can pre-order it. But if you want to make an investment in it, then please let me know and I'll email my address so you can send me a check. Or perhaps you'd like to fund a writing grant for a pitiful broken-backed old woman.

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    2. Have patience, grasshoppa duck.

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  2. That's hysterical. I love that sense of humor doesn't go as we age. :)

    And yes... start the saving now... just find $6 and you're all set until next Friday when you'll need $4. :)

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    1. People tend to become more extreme versions of themselves as they age; hence, fishducky gets funnier every single day. And I think I have $6 in my purse. Now I need a hiding place.

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  3. Ha! I can only imagine the look on his face, and on hers! Get that book written, woman- we want to hear the rest of the story!

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    1. I appreciate your comments and your encouragement so much!

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  4. Bobby was probably happy to escape.

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    1. Bobby frequently saw elderly ladies in various stages of undress. The elderly quite often lose that little piece in our brains that tell us not to take off our clothes in public. Bobby may have been scarred for life, but I hope not.

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  5. If you get that book published, you MUST take me by the hand and walk me though the procedure. WELCOME TO TREADWELL needs a new title and I will start again, sending in queries only after I've come up with a zinger.

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    1. I'm very fortunate to have a publisher. I bet, though, that lots of bloggers have stories to tell about how they were published. Rick Gualtieri at "The Poptart Manifesto" has provided some interesting tips for writers. He's published several books. Nick Elson at "Nicki Elson's Not So Deep Thoughts" has had one book published and is about to be published a second time. I know bloggers who have been published are out there. Another is Peaches Ledwidge at "Conceive Writing." One thing I can tell you is that if someone says I'll get you published if you give me money, then it's a scam. Hiring a reputable editor is one thing, but paying people for "tips" or "to guide you through the process" is not on the up and up. Dee Ready at "Coming Home To Myself" just entered her novel in a contest that Amazon has. The winner gets published, of course. She's been writing about crafting a synopsis and a description -- apparently they're not the same thing. Dee Ready is an wonderfully kind and helpful person, and she's very talented. I love your title. It's too bad that not everyone appreciates good, homey fiction.

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  6. Great way to start the week! Thanks.

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  7. I was a Candy Striper when I was young.. I had to take specimens to the lab. They were warm, I do recall.

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    Replies
    1. I worked in a doctor's office for a while and did a lot of urine drug tests. Man, pee gets old fast.

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